Come to Your Senses
by T-man626
Summary: Janet's life and feelings during Daniel's Ascension.


**Author's Note:** SG-1 and related characters belong to the usual people. The _lyrics_ of the song (and title of the story) come from the musical "tick, tick,...BOOM!" by Jonathan Larson (which I highly recommend). No money was or will be made by myself. (A note to those who tried to read this earlier: the is the correct one, I promise!)

* * *

Come to Your Senses

_You're on the air  
__I'm underground  
__Signal's fading  
__Can't be found  
__I finally open up  
__For you I would do anything  
__But you've turned off the volume  
J__ust when I've begun to sing_

(after "Meridian") Cassie gave me this CD for Christmas last year. I'm not usually into musicals, but this one has some pretty good songs. This one in particular fits my mood perfectly right now. Daniel and I just went on our first date a week ago, and now he's gone. Part of me feels that I should be happy that he Ascended, but I would rather have him here with me.

_Come to your senses  
__Defenses are not the way to go  
__And you know  
__Or at least you knew  
__Ev'rything's strange  
__You've changed  
__And I don't know what to do  
__To get through  
__I don't know what to do_

(after "Descent") Daniel's been gone for over four months. The rest of SG-1 seems to be doing better, especially since Jonas joined the team. Even so, I know that Sam, at least, still misses Daniel. We talk when she comes over to see Cassie, and I feel safe admitting to her just how much I miss him. Of the team, she was the only one who knew that Daniel and I had started dating; not surprising since she was so close to both of us.

_I have to laugh  
__We sure put on a show  
__Love is passé in this day and age  
__How can we expect it to grow?  
__You as the knight  
__Me as the queen  
__But all I've got tonight  
__Is static on a screen_

(after "Abyss") Colonel O'Neill just returned to us. He's obviously been tortured and been placed in a sarcophagus numerous times. Once again, I'm reminded of Daniel: thanks to my observations of him several years ago I know how to treat the Colonel to minimize the withdrawal symptoms.

_Come to your senses  
__The fences inside are not for real if we feel  
__As we did and I do  
__Can't you recall?  
__When this all began  
__It was only you and me  
__It was only me and you_

Colonel O'Neill told me something interesting yesterday when I released him from the infirmary. I had asked him why he had held on for so long. He tried to blow off the question by saying he had faith that his team wouldn't leave him behind. He even admitted that wanting to see Sam had something to do with it. Even so, I knew that he wasn't telling the whole truth. Finally, he mumbled, "To prove Daniel wrong."

"Excuse me?" I asked, my heart speeding up a little.

"Daniel visited me in my cell. He kept offering to help me Ascend 'cause he didn't think anyone could find me," he said, not meeting my eyes.

I want to believe him. We've had experience with Ascended beings appearing in human form. But why would Daniel show himself only to the Colonel? Why not me?

_But now the air is  
__Filled with confusion  
__We've replaced care  
__With illusion_

(after "Cure") I'm on call this evening, so I'm staying in my quarters on base. I've been talking to Daniel, hoping he'll respond. I could swear that several times I've felt his presence or heard his voice, but he hasn't appeared to me the way he did to Colonel O'Neill. I've also been going over my notes on the tretonin SG-1 brought back from their latest mission. I've been in contact with the Tok'Ra; they're still working to create an effective antidote for the Pangarans and want to know what information I got from my analysis of the drug.

_It's cool to be cold  
__Nothing lasts anymore  
__Love becomes disposable  
__This is the shape of things  
__We cannot ignore_

(during "Changeling") Life goes on here at the SGC. Teal'c is overdue to report in from a meeting of the rebel Jaffa leaders, so General Hammond is sending the rest of SG-1 to see what's going on. I've made sure my medical team is ready; in my experience when someone is overdue for a check-in there's a ninety-nine percent chance we'll be needed.

_Come to your senses  
__Suspense is fine  
__If you're just an empty image  
__Emanating out of a screen_

(after "Changeling") I was right: Teal'c and Bra'tac are both in the infirmary, the only survivors of a horrendous ambush. When they first arrived we had only one symbiote to pass between the two of them. Thankfully Sam's dad arrived with a version of tretonin suited to Jaffa physiology. For the last three days they've been in the infirmary as we've adjusted the doses.

I've talked with Teal'c a little, both to reassure him and to try and understand what it was like for him to go without his symbiote. He confessed to me that he dreamed, which apparently is an unusual experience for a Jaffa. Not only did he dream, but Daniel apparently appeared to him in these dreams.

While I often feel like Daniel is watching me, I have yet to see him in the way the Colonel and Teal'c have.

_Baby be real  
__You can feel again  
__You don't need a music box melody  
__To know what I mean_

(after "Full Circle") This time, all of SG-1 saw Daniel. They went to Abydos to try and thwart Anubis' latest power bid. Daniel apparently made a deal with Anubis to save Abydos, but the planet was destroyed anyway. No one knows what happened to Daniel, but he would have done everything in his power to protect Abydos. I hope he's okay, wherever he is.

_Deep in my eyes  
__What do you see?  
__Deep in my sighs  
__Listen to me_

(During "Fallen/Homecoming") Daniel's back! SG-1 discovered him on a recent mission to a planet known as Vis Uban. I was on-call that evening when they came in. General Hammond called me from the control room to let me know that they were on their way up to the infirmary, which gave me enough time to retrieve Daniel's glasses. (I know it sounds sappy, but I'd held on to them all this time, keeping them safe in my desk.) My initial check-up revealed nothing wrong except for the fact that Daniel didn't remember anyone, including me. We've set him up in one of the VIP rooms on the base. I thought about visiting him that first night, but decided against it. Now he's off on another mission with SG-1; I just hope he makes it home okay.

_Let the music commence from inside  
__Not only one sense  
__But use all five_

(after "Fragile Balance") Daniel's been home for two months now, and has rejoined SG-1 following Jonas' departure. His memories have almost entirely returned, although according to him his time as an Ascended being is still a mystery. Last week, I finally got up the nerve to talk to him about our relationship. He agreed to meet me for dinner last night.

We had dinner at my house; Cassie was spending the night as a friend's. Daniel behaved like a gentleman, exactly like on our first date over a year ago. We talked about work, and a little about the fact that most of his memories of his pre-Ascended life have returned. Of course, this topic led to the discussion of our first date. According to Daniel, this was one of the last memories he got back, just because it was so close to his "death". "But I did start remembering other things when SG-1 brought me back from Vis Uban," he told me. We had moved from the dining room to the living room, and were sitting at opposite ends of the couch, facing one another.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well, I had a very strong sense of spending a lot of time in the Infirmary," he stated, smiling. I smiled, too; he'd been one of the steadiest visitors to Level 21. "And I recognized my glasses when you handed them to me." He paused. "I also began remembering my feelings for you."

"Really?" My face felt warm, and I knew that I was blushing. I looked down at my hands. "I didn't realize…"

"You weren't meant to," he cut me off, reaching over and placing his hands on mine. "After the discussion Sam and I had had on Vis Uban I wasn't sure that I could trust those feelings." I nodded my understanding; Sam had told me what had happened in the tent. "Anyway," Daniel continued, scooting a little closer to me, "after a week or so, when my memories began to really come back, I realized that, in this case, I could trust those feelings." His hand came up and lifted my face until I made eye contact. "I love you, Janet. Nothing's ever gonna change that." And he leaned in and kissed me.

_Come to your senses  
__Come to your senses_

I woke up this morning to find Daniel's arm around my waist, hugging me to him. I smiled as I felt his breath on the back of my neck, then closed my eyes again, planning to enjoy the moment for as long as possible.

_Come to your senses  
__Baby come back alive_


End file.
